Community Is Like Family

Oh my goodness! My summer has flown by but I can’t explain how excited I am to share this story with you!  FORTY days ago our world was rocked upside down. One of our closest friends (and best newest employee) was involved in a terrible accident. That day was an absolute nightmare and such a blur. We were fortunate to be with his wife and other close friends that day. This story isn’t to share his story (that’s coming soon in another way) it is to share with all of you how God was there through it all and how I saw his work through his miracle.  One answered prayer from that day was that God could give me strength to be strong for his wife, and he did! One of my very best friends just looked at me like she was saying I know, but instantly I felt peace and was able to be strong when I thought I was weak! 

Community is like no other around our small town and I have been so blessed to get to see it through two good friends’ struggles.  Our other good friend’s son is going through chemo treatments and we have been also fortunate to walk through their struggles with them too. Honestly, their family has been so strong and it has been an honor to see them come out of the struggles with hope.  I have ZERO doubt that God’s hand has been in it all. I would be lying if I hadn’t had doubts over these past few months, but I am so thankful now that our journey has been put on pause to let God use us to pour into these families. I honestly felt that was the first sign that is why we needed a break after this all started. I truly believe that God knew I couldn’t handle that too on top of this! I would be lying if I didn’t feel overwhelmed, but man our Community has blown it out of the water! The support that both of these families have received is amazing! I can’t thank every single person who helped in some form! I know God is using these people to make his work known.  The past months I have literally sat crying looking back at God’s goodness in just a few days of struggles. God’s Hand has been at the front line in both of our friends’ stories and I felt every single blessing.  Honestly, there were many many long nights and some without our necessities, but God taught me that none of that matters without friends and family. Man am I glad I have these friends who are like family!  You see growing up I never had a sister and that was always my wish, but now I know God gave me sisters in many other forms and I AM SO GLAD he did!  Another win is that God showed us how to appreciate the ones that are there through it all and boy did he!  If you know me I am not much of a hugger and boy do I love hugs now! I waited all week for one of the best hugs ever! AND…another non-hugger Clint allowed people to hug him!   Man…a tragic event like these brought many of us friends and family closer and I am so thankful that I have them as members of our community!  God has allowed me to let my guard down and show others my feelings and my heart in more ways than one. 

I pray that he shows you his Goodness in your life!

Proverbs 17:17

A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.

Who is your friend that was there to help you through your time of need.

P.S. Don’t forget to tell them how much you love them and truly do it! AND..If you don’t have someone like this RUN and find a friend who drops everything to just come spend time with you to make sure your okay during the hard days!

Much Much Love,

Camile

Light in the Darkness

If you know me at all you know me as a planner of all things. I have learned to be more flexible, but ultimately I don’t like when things don’t go the way I expect them to go.  Life hasn’t gone as we planned at all, but I am able to see God’s promise through it all. Honestly the last few moments have not been what I expected at all! STRESS is always high at the end of the school year due, but this year has been such a whirlwind. 

Our fertility journey is being put on hold this summer after another failure.I really struggled the last two summers giving up so much time with our girl so we decided since we are at a cross road of choices it would be best for our family at this time to take a few months off! This really is a hard decision because we now are at four years of waiting to grow our family! BUT I know GOD IS WORKING!!

I am currently seeing it everyday during a hard time with our close friends. GOD SURE is FAITHFUL and I am honored to be walking aside them during this unexpected time.  I am so thankful now that we aren’t busy with our own lives that we can pour our love and energy into their story! This past week has been such a blur….everyday something else amazes us how GOD is HERE and working! I plan to share more on this amazing story but for now that’s it! SORRY for the lonnnnnnggggg wait on my end!

I am closing with this song! WAYMAKER! This is the song that has got me where I am today in my faith journey, but also it is the HEART of our friend’s story! He is working and is our light  in the darkness. 

You are here

Moving in our midst

I worship You

I worship You

You are here

Working in this place

I worship You

I worship You

And You are

Way maker, miracle worker

Promise keeper, light in the darkness

My God, that is who You are

And You are

Way maker, miracle worker

Promise keeper, light in the darkness

My God, that is who You are

You are here

Turning lives around

I worship You

I worship You

You are here

And You’re healing every heart

I worship You

I worship You

And You are

Way maker, miracle worker

Promise keeper, light in the darkness

My God, that is who You are

And You are

Way maker, miracle worker

Promise keeper, light in the darkness

My God, that is who You are

And that is who You are

(That is who You are), yeah

That is who You are

(That is who You are), yeah-eh-ay

Even when I don’t see it, You’re workin’

Even when I don’t feel it, You’re workin’

You never stop, You never stop workin’

You never stop, Jesus You are

Way maker, miracle worker

Promise keeper, light in the darkness

My God, that is who You are

(I know, I know You are)

Way maker, miracle worker

Promise keeper, light in the darkness

My God, that is who You are

Yeah, that is who You are

(That is who You are)

That is who You are

(That is who You are)

Jesus, that is who You are

Rejection……..

This post is for YOU—-no matter if you are feeling that you aren’t good enough for your boss at work, feeling like the best parent in the world, feeling like a terrible friend, or even just letting the guilt of the world get the best of you!

Rejection is something that each one of us has felt one time or another. Honestly it’s a hard thing to grasp at times. Failure isn’t something we like to admit or let alone talk about.  Unfortunately rejection isn’t something anyone can avoid.  

A little over one year ago today I had one of the biggest rejections I have ever experienced. I was so confident I was getting a job that I thought for sure it was God’s Plan and timing, but plot twist, boy was I wrong. That time was such a difficult time. Quartinine just began and our fertility journey was put on hold. This rejection felt like a pot of boiling water that was right on the verge of boiling right over the top. I felt so defeated but I knew that God was keeping right where he needed me. Over the past year I have grown in my faith and looking back I am amazed how hard that time was, but yet God wasn’t done showing me the way (and maybe he never will be done showing me.) 

John 15:18

If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first 

This weekend was such an amazing reminder of this. Jesus saved us from all of our rejection by dying on the CROSS. This keeps me going year after year. If God sacrificed his son for us then we owe him everything! So sharing my story is one little thing that I can do to show others how important they to our HEAVENLY FATHER.

And…..

NOW—-another bump in our journey (lately it feels like a mountain) we were able to go through another transfer over the past few months and it wasn’t successful like we desperately believed it would be. Our doctor was so defeated, she was so sure this time was it and the entire cycle was perfect. Not one ounce of fluid this time, not one complication and this has never  EVER happened in the past two years. It felt like the last surgery was a success until that little embryo didn’t stick.  We felt so angry and so defeated at this point, but there was one more suggestion to try, another mock cycle to test my tissue for other issues while on the meds. If this testing cycle doesn’t show us much we have to weigh out our other options (and maybe find another surrogate.)  Just when we thought we were in the final stretch God said NOT YET and well honestly it was so infuriating! So here I sit typing out  our latest  hurdles when I was so sure it would be an announcement post.  I continue to share my story for the one who feels like no one else understands their battle BUT GIRL I totally get your pain!  I promise to be a listening ear and speak life into your struggle the best I know possible! I promise to be a friend that will surprise you with wine and chocolate while you process your sadness.  Don’t Give Up–GOD has got YOU!

Psalm 34:17-20

When his people pray for help, he listens and rescues them from their troubles. The Lord is there to rescue all who are discouraged and have given up hope. The Lord’s people may suffer a lot, but he will always bring them safely through. Not one of their bones will ever be broken. (CEV)

S I X

P.S. this is a long one!

Our girl is     S I X      years old today! How is that even possible? It wasn’t much before that, when I got the news that I may never be a mother and thank goodness God had other plans for our lives. She is our whole world in which we never knew we really needed!

Six years ago we were just introducing her to our family! Little did some of you know she was Baby Girl Myers for the first twenty or so hours of her life. Clint and I couldn’t decide so we had our closest family and friends decide when they came to meet her! It was such a fun experience!  This morning I told Ellie her birth story for the first time! She is so amused by how babies get in your belly! We have always taught her that God puts the babies in there and she just went along with it!   If you have been following my previous posts, you know that Ellie was a miracle to begin with but her birth was a similar situation!  You see she came quickly—very quickly two weeks early. Everything happened so fast I can’t remember a lot of it! I had terrible bowel cramps all day—so I thought!  We went to dinner with dear friends of ours at her now FAVORITE YELLOW Mexican Place the night she was born. I went to bed and as soon as I laid down I heard a gush of water and thought what was that???  Clint’s comment was you just peed… I stood up and more gushed out and he said “that ain’t pee” or something like that!  From that moment of time (9:30 PM) went so slow but fast in the same sense. I was freaking out so I called my sister -in- law (thanks for always answering my medial questions) she calmed my fears. Then the doctor they told me to shower take my time don’t rush since I wasn’t feeling any contractions, well so much as I knew! We left our house around 10 and as soon we got a few miles down the road I felt a pinch in my back and thought that was weird not having a clue what contractions felt like—Mind you I didn’t take any classes because I thought I was going in the next week, ONE week early for my SCHEDULED C-Section, but Ellie girl had other plans for us!   We got to Lima and they were much stronger. We got across town to the hospital and I was having painful ones closer together then. Once we got to the room they started to grow stronger to the point I wasn’t able to talk—THANKS to back labor! Ellie was breech  so that wasn’t helping matters! We got prepared which felt like forever, the nurses were so grumpy so I thought but they were freaking out because I was ready to push but obviously couldn’t! The doctor on call was in another emergency C-Section so things were a bit hectic around there!  I finally got my epidural/spinal whatever happened (that part was a total blur) and then went into the operating room! The medicine gave me the worst headache all I can remember was Clint rubbing my head and a lot of pulling on my stomach. At 1:50 am our beautiful  6 lb. 13 oz. girl with a full head of hair was born! I remember touching her hair and then they knocked me out because I felt funny!

Looking back at the last couple of weeks as another birthday approached, I kept remembering how I felt and how upset I was every year that again celebrating her birthday didn’t include siblings but honestly this year is the first year that I am not sad and am not planning it on my own timeline—on GOD’s instead. I am not telling myself on this # of birthday she will finally be a BIG SISTER. Yes, it stills hurts and I want to grant that wish for her but now I have hope that whether a little sister or brother is ever in our cards we will be okay—I MEAN we have made it through one heck of a year(s). The struggle with secondary infertility has taught us more than one time that having ONE child is the best gift one can receive! Our girl has been the best blessing we could have ever imagined!  We thank God every day we get to be her parents!

Not much other news for now, but I will be sharing an update soon!

Much Love,

Camile

IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY

Guys—It is OKAY to not be okay all of the time.  It really stinks to feel so crappy, but so does feeling like it isn’t okay to feel all the emotions!  This week has been quite the week!  First, my dad had open-heart surgery, one super difficult doctor appointment, kindergarten struggles, house addition challenges, and the list could go on and on. So many more decisions to consider and no real answers at this point. The church really got me today! One of the opener songs called When the Fight Calls by Hillsong really got me. As soon as the music started, I instantly knew I would lose it. It isn’t a new song, but it has been a song that has continued to get me through many struggles throughout the years while attending LifeHouse. As I stood there with tears rolling down my face, I knew it was my sign to continue to trust God through this fight we are facing.  My biggest struggle lately is the bitterness towards the process and others. I keep fighting it even though some days it seems impossible. The message today continued to speak truth into my life. Pastor Matt talked about Joseph’s story and how he trusted that God was with him through his struggles.  This story of hope was something that God knew I needed to hear today. Clint and I have been praying for a sign to help make our decision easier and that hasn’t been the case. My biggest prayer is that God would allow us to be content with our girl or to be at peace with where we are at right now.  I truly believe that God puts desires on our hearts for a reason and I whole heartedly know that God is strengthening Clint and I through this journey. I want to continue to share his love and truth with you all. He has got us this far and he will continue to be with us through this FIGHT!

These lyrics from When the Fight Calls— are so moving!

I won’t let the storm weather my heart

Won’t let the darkness beat me down

Sing in the night my hope alive in You

I’ll walk through the fire and not be burned

Pray in the fight and watch it turn

Jesus tonight I give it all to You

Don’t let the storm of life weather your heart!

Much Love,

Camile

Fair

The Van Wert County Fair will always hold a special place in my heart. I can still remember seeing Clint for the very first time he was leaning up against the sheep barn in a cut off shirt and hat.  A mutual friend said hey this is my friend Clint, he is going to walk around with us and that was the real beginning of us!   You see this memory was two years before we actually started dating but I know God designed Clint just for me! Another important couple in our lives met at the fair also—My parents met over 43 years ago at the fair!  You see this event may seem so silly to most, but the fair holds such a special place in my heart for so many ways other than just having met Clint there! The fair was important to my grandfather, who passed his love for fair with my father, then passed it to me & my brother and now my Ellie girl (and nieces and nephews.) The fair is such a fun time to get to see people you don’t always get to see, but it also is a time to share your love for hard work through many ways, my favorite was through 4-H. I thank 4-H for helping shape my love for children that God created in me! 4-H takes such dedication and fair allows for this work to be shared with others! This week is our county fair and it only seemed fitting to write about it! This year is very weird, but it has already been a blessing in disguise because it has allowed our families to slow down and enjoy the real reason for the fair! You see—we normally are running around like crazy during the fair that we don’t always find time to enjoy the moment God gives us during these times!   I am so thankful that God allowed my family to enjoy the fair for so many years! I have met so many lifelong friends during those years!  I have always used fair as a timeline for my life—especially through this journey! I remember thinking years ago, next fair I will be pregnant, then the following year I thought the very same thing and here we are three years later still trying to trust God through it all!

God tells us in Matthew 5:16 to let our light shine through

our good works.

I pray that God continues to allow my family to shine their light this way and I am so thankful that God planned these fair memories to shape me into a hard-working person!  

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:16

How are you sharing your light with others while supporting our youth in the community?

Giving Up

Guys—right now don’t we all feel like giving up in some shape or form! I know I haven’t said much about this COVID stuff, but it has affected everyone in some way!  BACK to SCHOOL is so close for most of us and the stress levels are so high already! I pray that you find ways to let God’s Truth speak into all the extra stress that may be added to your normal stress!

With IVF giving up is always in the back of my mind but I hate to quit things. Our girl had her dance recital this past weekend and of course of all days I had to have my midcycle scan that same day!. I was so planned, I got everything packed the night before and even put it in my car so Clint couldn’t be blamed for forgetting something!  BUT—I was so rushed that day that part of her outfit got missed hanging up! Once we noticed a great friend (WHOM we are so thankful for in every way) rushed to our house to find it but it was too late!!!!!! I was so MAD! I felt like a failure because again trying to have another baby was taking precious moments from our girl! I was so worried that she would be upset but she wasn’t she instantly said “it is okay mommy, I wasn’t upset!” She got to dance and she didn’t have a care in the world that she was different! SUCH A HUGE LIFE LESSON—She teaches us so much! After being so upset–Clint really got me thinking—he said, “When do we know enough is enough.”  I was like WOW! I have been thinking about the next steps if IVF never works for us!  My doctor has mentioned a possible surrogate, but we aren’t totally ready to consider that just yet! Another option we could consider is adoption.  So many decisions and paths we could choose.  And Here We Go Again—- the enemy starts creeping in when it comes to decisions, instead of me trusting God to help us make that decision.  I am so thankful that God chose Clint for me and chose some really important friendships into our lives, they continue to speak wisdom into my thought process. I recently reached out to a distant family member who always was someone I looked up to as a child (I can still remember the details of the light blue dress I wore in her wedding.) She dealt with infertility and chose adoption, she said to me that they say IVF is physically and mentally exhausting while adoption is emotionally exhausting.  This meant to me that either way the exhaustion will hopefully be worth it one day!

In Jobs we can find hope in the path that God has chose for us—

But God understands the way to wisdom, he knows it location. For he looks to the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens” (Jobs 28:23-24)

You see we can stay stuck in the anger of it all or we can choose to trust that God is right here in the deep struggle with us!

As Always much much much love,

Camile

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